Thursday, September 27, 2007

Since then

My last notable post was August of 2005. At that time I was still working as a car salesman in Carson, Ca.

That situation was an unexpected turn of events. I was buying my car negotiating with the salesman etc..when suddenly he suggests I apply for a job in the sales department. I was unemployed at the time and lets face it if he wanted to sell the car, he would have to find a place of legitimate employment for me. I laughed at him but followed through with the paperwork needed to get sponsorship, a license, and of course an application.

I had no idea at the time there was so much to know and do in order to become a car salesman. I, like most people, wrongly assumed one just rolled up and was one, that there was little to no structure, no science, no way.

I did drive off in my brand new SUV. Smiling at all that had transpired. I had already planned on doing something in sales and wasn't going to jump into this opportunity right away.

Instead I went on to work for Closet World. Three weeks into that initiative I decided it was too much work with no pay promised except a sales close ratio that was a little padded for the purpose of selling us "would be salesmen" on the job itself.

It was then toward the end of August that I got fingerprinted and started my new job as an automotive sales representative it was then that I began learning "The Way".

I followed through with this endeavor whole heartedly, six days a week, twelve hours a day, for three straight months.

It was an awesome identity changing experience on a level that I can only compare to my time studying Taoism. In some respects one could accurately regard the learning of "The Way" to the Tao of Sales.

During my third month, a new Sales manager got hired. I recognized his face but could not tell you from where or when. Our eyes locked and there was immediate indescribable loathing in our gaze. It was at that moment that I knew what was coming next and what I was to do secretly and quickly.

This man was going to make my otherwise enjoyable work day a nightmare until he had a reason to fire me or I quit. I preferred to quit, my way - in my time. I was pretty well liked and accepted in that place at that time and he would have had real difficulty firing me without upset. So that meant I had time.

With my new talents it was not long before I was offered another sales job in Merchant Account Services same pay less hours and I took it.

There was some real regret in seeing me go. The guys thought I had the necessary IT required for a woman to succeed in this business and what I found within myself was that I alread had.

I moved on, stayed friends, and trusted this would all come full circle.

That brings me all the way to the summer of 2006. I had done well in Merchant Services but found I could do better if I was elsewhere. Again, I had learned techniques from the best and wanted more than anything to use these lessons to increase my wealth and reputation.

I did, too. I quickly got a job offer from a competitor that was much better for me in every way. I took it. It wasn't like me to be so opportunistic but supply met demand and there was no denying the potential.

It went well for me until the end of June when there had been some changes in the service offerings of the business. When these changes came into play, I realized the end was near potentially. Then I was given an ultimatum. Go commission only for a service that differed greatly from my talents or just go.

I opted to go negotiated for a layoff so I could find another job. I was granted unemployment. I started selling cutlery that turned out to be more like Closet World.

I then got a job in business development for an Internet based import export company near LAX.

At first this job seemed very promising. The money was good, the business was viable, and the job was challenging in the idealistic sense of the word. I believed in what I was doing and found real light in the work.

Then of course, reality kicked in. Either my efforts were doomed to fail or the tasks became much less potent. It was turning into a real prison sentence and an awkward situation.

By Christmas of 2006, I had cleaned off my desk and planned my escape. I had been struck by an ad for Bartending School and my new goal was to go.

One week later I was fired...

Two weeks later I had secured a job working for a center for Autistic Adults in Malibu. I thought that would be really great. But like other jobs required fingerprinting, a physical exam, a waiting period etc. It was a better life doing things I truly thought worth while and important.

Two weeks later I was a new graduate at my bartending academy.

My new job started off like a real dream. Getting to know each person, the work, the goals. I was really in to it. You kind of had to be.

Then I got the chill. That feeling that the floor was going to give out but I was not so interested in meeting that fate as graciously as other times.

First my boss was replaced. Then my co-worker turned on me. Then it was my turned to bear the weight of the "AXE". OUCH! That really hurt. I was very attached and very happy. I really couldn't believe that this was happening in such a well meaning environment. You expect a certain dog eat dog mentality in corporate America but not in Non-Profit. What I learned as my final lesson in the "The Way" was that in non profit it's actually worse, more corrupt, and more treacherous. Beware of everyone who tries to befriend you. They will later eat you - nose first.

That was spring of 2007.

After that I was done; done with offices, desks, would be assassins, invisible ladders, and ceilings, done with all things job related as I had known it. I needed to define my demon in order to be free. My demon was plain to see.

Now I was free, free to live my life on different more fundamental terms. Free to be me. Free to find another level of truth...

It was then in my highest spiritual high and lowest career low that a sedan passed me with a license plate that simply read "Bob Dobb". That's it, I rode up to the car tried honk but my horn in my new car stopped working, I pressed harder, followed closer, pounded even. Nothing. I could not get the attention of the driver of the car. An older but still handsome man. He could have been Bob Dobb.

Then he was out of sight. My hands shook, my heart beating wildly. The moment whatever significance it had, had passed.

There went the answer to my innermost question. I had no one to share this incredible moment with except my inner most self. Once I was completely alone I pressed my horn again and it worked just fine and has continued to work every moment after that one.

It was a real mystery in my adventure...

1 comment:

Vagina MonoBlogs said...

Hi Camille

I am writing articles of the same name (great minds think alike) any chance you would be willing to give up the domain name?