And the word said hey its a brand new dayyy

The Osbournes aren't on tonight. Why is this? The ads all say Tuesday night at 10 I bet it will be on tomorrow at ten. Why lie about when a show is on?

I am drinking coffee, feeling a little less alone. I have decided that love is truely what I am after. Not that I don't like money, I would like to have some someday but love is just the thing that aches and keeps you up and keeps you dreaming. And its the one fixation that cannot be satisfied in a purchase.

So what will I do? Wait. I had a great break through with my group today. Something real happened. My member made me feel special and good. It gave me such a natural high.

I say I don't like gay guys but I just saw a gay wedding and it was actually very sweet. I think I just don't like men who use sexual preference as an excuse not to love women. You don't have to want me bad to care, that's all.

Lots of gay men have wanted to love me and sex me too. So, it is a case by case thing.

Still, I know as a woman that men are important. I came home tonight the tv on and no roommate. I don't know where he went.

My fish tank is disgusting. You can barely see my fish. I have got to fix that. The animal rights people are gonna get me.

My neighbor got a boob job. It's wierd for me because she just didn't project a big boob thing ya know, she has lots of tattoos, lots of aggression, very assertive, and in control. Now she's almost frilly acting and its something I haven't figured out how to transition through.

Maybe she just likes messing with peoples ideas of her. I didn't have any set ideas about her, however, until now. Now I see her as being things that I didn't see as being her. Now she's evolved into another kind of person. I wonder, if I get used to this new person, will she allude me yet again?

I write off beat beatnicky herionina poetry. I will publish some sometime. I am just funny about, it.

I am current fascinated by the constant online presence of a man. I would like to understand him better. Something tells me its a sign that I am being tested yet again but my faery god mother, tori amos. It could be cher, but maybe not.

Cher isn't the kind of woman you want to miss judge without a new passport and one way ticket in hand.

I want love, that is what it is. Love is haunting me. Desire, a womanly freedom. . .

Maybe I just need a raise.